all software expands until it includes Stories

me: do you want it done quickly or do you want it done right?

manager: yes

php is fine twitter.com/mykola/status/119871…

github being down is the closest thing you get to a snow day at school as an adult

*edits one WordPress theme*
*accidentally writes PHP for next 8-10 years*

You say: “We added AI to our product”
I hear: “We added a bunch more IF statements to our codebase”

– hey how did your hackathon go?
– not too bad, we got Babel set up
– yep…
– yep.

Designer: “I want you to implement custom select elements”,

Developer: “No.”

Rinse & repeat.

“Maybe switching to [insert new JS framework] will compensate for my lack of actual JavaScript knowledge” – front-end developers in 2015.

UX designer job description:

• loves Sharpies
• hates Photoshop

Please bring own high horse.

Post-it notes supplied.