Enter phone number
Wait for verification text
Never comes
Try a verification call
Never comes
Call customer service
“What is your mobile carrier? T-Mobile? Oh they block us sometimes. You should call and complain to them.”

Uh… No! Get a verification service that works.

So you want to be one of Trump’s lawyers?

Do you have a suit? Yes.
Fancy looking glasses? Sure thing.
Are you white? You betcha!

You’re hired!

@zgordon @StratticWeb Now you should see if @StratticWeb wants to help sponsor @wordcampdc? I bet there are a lot of non-profits and agencies that would love to discover the benefits of running a static WordPress site.

2020.dc.wordcamp.org/call-for-sp…

@jaredcunha You didn’t choke did you? We still have yet to develop a digital equivalent of the Heimlich maneuver.

@noaheverett The first ultrasound of my first child really hit me hard. “You mean that little wiggly thing is mine?”

@MrBrianHinton @davatron5000 The water? Yes. It happens rather fast for the sinks closer to the tankless water heater. The master shower is the farthest away and takes a good 30 seconds to heat up. Same problem with a tank water heater though.

@ToddChappelle Did he watch Garfield and Friends? youtube.com/watch?v=twCZpezeNFE

2 year old: “We can’t go outside with bare feet…”

Me: “Why not?” (expecting her to say it is too cold)

2 year old: “Because we are not bears”

😂😂😂

@MikeNGarrett This sounds like how a developer would listen to music. No Napster in this mix?

@mattcampux A 0 day exploit?

Hey twitter friends 👋🏻 I’m looking to hire two great designers to my @dffrntlab team in Amsterdam. Would you like to work with us, and me? Are you interested, or know somebody? Please let me know, or respond to the LI posting. For more info: linkedin.com/jobs/view/163906594…

@round Then how do you explain 1998’s Beauty and the Beast Belle’s Magical World?

The #1 reason I use Twitter is to connect to my WordPress friends. This is for all you WP people I respect so much. Interested in speaking at WordCamp Jax? We need speakers and I’d love to see you all again in person. Deadline is extended – Please share! 2020.jacksonville.wordcamp.org/c…

Me: Ok kids do you want chicken nuggets for dinner?
Kids: YEA!
Me: Ok here are your chicken nuggets
Kids:

@round So to do that do I send a Cache-control: private, max-age=0, no-cache header or an Expires header with a date in the past?

2 year old running to me with a hair tie

“Daddy I want this hair up”

“You want this in a pony tail?”

“Yea!!!”

“But…”

One weakness of vampires? They get soggy in milk…

3yo: I need some help
👨🏻: what do you need?
3yo: I need to borrow your big ladder
👨🏻: uh … why?
3yo: to go really high and BLOW UP THE SUN
👨🏻: why do you want to blow up the sun?
3yo: so I can go back to bed

saaaaaame

@dvassallo What if there are no other bidders and the owner is trying to just inflate the price?

@hankchizljaw Isn’t this what brid.gy/ does?