Now turtles can be giant d bags. Thanks @MercedesBenz

@nacin Yes but ice skating is a skill

I’m gonna go out on a limb here but shouldn’t an entire football game be considered “unnecessary roughness”?

@joelmchale I keep pecking at my phone but my send still look like two spaghetti noodles

@mpiccorossi twitter.com/taupecat/status/5620…

@brownpau tonight was a big night for you

Do you think Budweisers target audience can even read?

@renano Back in my day we used to listen to that on the radio not before going to a commercial

Tour nail fungus super bowl commercial wins because they have a clear game plan for winning

@taupecat 2/3 the other one is sleeping

The toy Lexus is more of my budget. Can I get that one?

@DanielleAlberti And Nissan says I should consume myself with my car so I can win the racecar race

@DanielleAlberti According to Nationwide she should be dead

Hey Superbowl brands… Am I doing this Dad thing right? #SuperBowlXLIX

@nacin Its bertny spears y’all… Rooting for the Saints.

Brittany Spears is rooting for the wrong team…

@jenlindner @petemanning SHUT UP OR I WILL BEAT YOU UP… wait there was a commercial that said I shouldn’t do that.

With a guest appearance by the “More you know…” star

Is she old enough to be called Mrs. Elliot yet?

Hey it’s that guy from Mockingjay. Wait he plays guitar and knows Katy Perry?