6 year old’s math assignment: Find and count 50 items.

6 year old overthinking it…

3 year old: Are you wearing socks to bed?
6 year old: No, I’m wearing feet.

*Driving down the highway*

6 year old: Daddy there is a car behind us. I bet they got it during the Toyotathon.

Teacher over Zoom: Good morning today is January 4th…

*6 Year old turns to me*

Daddy it’s the last day of Toyotathon!

🙄

The 6 year old is adamant we get to a Toyota dealer for the last days of Toyotathon. Thanks commercials.

My 6 year old is going to message me pictures like this every weekend for the rest of my life and there a-ok with me

3 year old: I don’t think Santa has a butt
5 year old: Then how does he sit down?
3 year old: Oh, good point

And thus ends the debate.

@taupecat Don’t tell my 5 year old who loves listening to the soundtrack.

Nothing is a stab in the heart more than when my 5 year old tries to answer the teacher in her virtual class and then the WiFi dies.

3 year old woke up with a minor fever. Fall must be coming…

Media viewing habits of our family at the moment:

– 3 year old: Peppa Pig + Ben & Holly’s Little Kingdom
– 5 year old: Super Pops (youtube.com/c/TotallyTV) and La La Life (youtube.com/channel/UCvHhQJcsnDE…)
– Wife: MTV reality shows from the early 2000s
– Newborn: The ceiling fans

3 year old: Ok let’s pick jobs. We have Sailor, Royal Sailor, and dead animal.

😮

3 year old: Ok let’s play school. First let’s take your temperature.

* Puts a stick to my forehead *

Ok good you don’t have the virus you can go in.

First Law of Thermodynamics: Energy can be changed from one form to another, but it cannot be created or destroyed.

First Law of 5-year olds: Explaining what happens in an 8 minute YouTube video takes them 4 hours and 17 minutes.

@anthonydpaul The 3 year old is gonna flip out when she sees that GIF.

I was standing in the kitchen eating a bowl of cereal when my 3 year old walks up as cute as can be and smiling when she punches me in the ding-a-ling.

# humpDay

@naudebynature 3 year old and 5 year old in unison: DADDY! THE BABY IS CRYING!

5 year old went back to preschool yesterday. Today one of the teachers reported COVID-19 symptoms and had to close early for the day. They’ll be closed tomorrow as well.

3 year old goes to the same school and is unaffected.

One of the downsides about this new era of everything is streaming and on demand is that when my kids discover something and they want the toys for a 10 year old show the prices are all jacked up because the toys are collectables now.

My 3 year old would go bezerk for this twitter.com/GayLaVie/status/1270…