Kids singing at the top of their lungs…

4 year old: INTO THE UNKNOWN!!!

2 year old: INTO THE UN-NONE!!!

@JoAnnStilley Yea the 1 year old birthday was when you invite all of your friends and watch the kid smash cake in their face.

@smarty I just spent my morning downloading some free PSD thingy to make a gaudy 3D gold text effect for my 5 year old’s birthday invite.

Photoshop crashed numerous times while trying to get it done.

Me: Shall we listen to a song on the ride home?

2 year old: Yeeeaaaa!

Me: What song?

2 year old: I Like to Move It Move It

** Puts on song “I Like to Move It by Reel 2 Real” **

4 year old, peeved: Is this the entire song?

@randallb 4.5 year old: Who are you talking to?

Me: My friend on the Internet

4.5 year old: What is their name?

Me: Randall

4.5 year old:

2.5 & 4.5 year old put 2 boxes of Baby Shark cereal on the grocery store conveyor belt

Cashier to me: Are you a fan of Baby Shark cereal because of the Nats?

Me: No, I have toddlers that just sing it constantly and I used the cereal to bribe them so I could finish shopping

** Google Maps announces we just entered Delaware **

4.5 year old: NO! I DON’T WANT TO LIVE IN DELAWARE!!!

4.5 year old continues to sob and ask every 5 minutes if we’re out of Delaware yet.

“I want jelly on toast” in 2.5 year old speak translates to “I want to lick some jelly off the top of the toast and be done with it”

4.5 year old walks into the room with $6.

“Hey Daddy do you want this money? I don’t need it anymore.”

Heck yeah I need that money. Daycare is expensive.

Wife to 2.5 year old:

Wife: Can I tell you a secret?

2.5 year old: yea

Wife: do you know what a secret is?

2.5 year old: …Christmas

Me: Let’s play the freeze dance game!
2.5 year old: YEA!!!

*Starts playing freeze dance game YouTube video*

2.5 year old is dancing wildly. This is the greatest! So much fun!

2.5 year old picks up box of crayons and throws them all over the room!

Me: Let’s play the freeze dance game!
2.5 year old: No! We have to make sandwiches

*We make pretend sandwiches and pretend devour them*

Me: Let’s play the freeze dance game!
2.5 year old: No we have to wear dresses

*Helps 2.5 year old get into floofy pink flowery tutu*

2.5 year old: Let’s play freeze dance
Me: Ok, let’s play!
2.5 year old: No! Play in the playroom

*we march off to the playroom*

Pushing both kids on the swing.

2.5 year old turns to the 4.5 year old: “Zadie let’s start laughing”

Both kids start laughing hysterically.

After eating 1.5 bowls of Cap’n Crunch’s Oops All Berries cereal the 4.5 year old is cleaning up the play room while singing Miley Cyrus’ “Party in the USA” to herself.

@hankchizljaw Or changing the diaper of an 18 month old?

Or leave the house in under 20 minutes in the winter with a 3 year old?

** Me picking up my kids after I got a haircut **

2 year old: Where did your hair go?

4 year old: It’s in the future.

🤔🔮

@AdeyLady123 ** Slowly closes laptop lid and hides computer from nearby 4 year old **

@mattcampux My 4 year old is learning how to wrap floss around her fingers and make it taught.